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Feebled_SouL
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Name: Tanya
Location: Virginia
Birthday: 11/17/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: Besides God and Family....I did, I do, I have, I had, but now I don't... March 06-03 always and forever
Occupation: Student
Industry: Engineering
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/30/2005
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| What does the subject to my blog means to me? During the middle of the summer until the late fall, i have been having some discontentment in my life and those possibilities of not making my goals come true was inevitable. I had felt redundant, repetative, infuriated, feebled and just plain dumb for putting myself in a situation that i have never put myself in. My life was full of pain, suffering, depression, and sadness. I was so hurt and never felt neglected and taking for granted in my whole life. Sometimes you just meet people that are so intimidated by you that the only way they know how to get back at you is to destroy your whole self without you not evening knowing that the person was capable of doing that too begin with. Those people are not my real friends, they have pushed my down and brought so many drama's an pain to my life. There are new people I meet that can't accept me the way i am. I realize that life is too short, so i say to myself...
Life is too short to wake up in the morning
With regrets.
So love the people who treats you right & forget
About the ones who don't.
Believe that sometimes, everything
Happens for a reason.
If you get a chance take it & don't be scared
Nobody said it'd be easy, they just
Promised that it'd be worth it in the end.
I love how this is written out because everytime I read it I become better and i know that a new day is going to come. "SOMEONE TOLD ME FORGET ABOUT THE PAST THERE'S NOT POINT IN WASTING TIME DWELLING ON IT WHEN YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD LOOKING FOR A NEW HOPE, AND THAT WHATEVER HAPPENED YESTERDAY IS GONE BECAUSE TODAY IS A NEW DAY." I like to live my life and have fun just like everyone else, but living my life by just having the simplicity of knowing that their are people out there that really care and love me is enough for me to live my life the way i want. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MY PARENTS, REAL FRIENDS (MY BESTEST FRIEND) and just for people that supported and help me out from all the mistakes and dumb decison making i have made in my life. How you all made me realize what is real and what is not real, who is real and who is not real. I'm have grown to be a more wiser, mature and stronger. I know that life my have many alteration from time to time, but i'm very much happy the way i am...i notice how much I LOVE ME =) and for the FIRST TIME EVER I FEEL WONDERFUL =) | | |
| Its always easier to express ourselves when we are in a state of bliss than despair. Sometimes when I’m happy I just shout it out to the world. Literally.
Why is it when one is in pain they put their feelings in exile? I camouflage my misfortune or make up excuses to justify the not so joyous moments in my life.
I’m not prepared for every contingency but I can’t avoided risk at all cost. I’ll admit being scared of rejection and defeat. I’ve had my heart ripped out and stomped on. I’ve felt hopeless, broken and empty. I was confused as to how I could pour out my heart soul and everything I had in me with out recognition. How I did I have faith in something that brought me so much agony. I just couldn’t let go. It was like gripping a rose with thorns. I let the beauty of the flower blind me from the pain. I gave so much of myself; mind body and soul. I had cried to the point that I drowned in m own tears.
Maybe I held on because I wanted to save the one I loved from heartache. He had not known he loved me in that present time. I predicted he would be in pain. There was a since of animosity because I gave my all and was taken for granted. Once my love was lost I he was even more broken then I. I felt pity, but I didn’t have the energy to try anymore.
Things get worst before they get better. There will be moments of silence. Moments where he will say "I LOVE YOU" where you cant regurgitate the words; because you don’t feel the same and it makes you sick to your stomach. You will be angry because it’s too late to apologize or sit in silence. You will wonder ."why couldn’t he have realized this yesterday". You just have to let things be as they are and let go.
You have opened the door to freedom, and a new spectrum of the social prospects of your life. Exciting new opportunities will present themselves. You get to laugh, smile and get butterflies. You will apply your experiences and what you’ve learned to the present. Just don’t put up a wall; embrace change and chance. You will finally be able to shout out to the world in an elated chant as opposed to drowning in your tears. You may be overwhelmed by emotion after a rather trying time, but you’ll be happier in the end and realize that letting go was the best decision in your life.
(THANK YOU) | | |
| I know that i haven't been on here for over 6months. The reason why i have stopped blogging? Seriously? Life has been rocky and i've been changed, been left alone, been happy, been sad, taken for granted and degraded. I really don't know what to say about this? I mean how come everytime, I do something right or do something good someone takes my whole life away. Despite the fact that not only do they take your life away, but your stupid enough to let someone hold your life. I have losted so much in so little time and yet here i am talking about the same melodramatic shiet over and over and over. Life is getting way to boring, and no one even knows what life is really about. I honestly believe life is about the parties, meeting the new, getting drunk, life is too precious then that. No one knows how to share the common simpliest of what life has to offer. I've been so horror i'm LOOSING PEOPLE!!! I'm changing and not for the good, i've changed to something that i don't want to be. My heart is still the same, but yet i'm in so much pain. Up until now, the pain still sits in there day after day after day. I need serious help, i really NEED TO GET AWAY FROM ALL OF THIS. Why is it that when people leave you once, they realize what they lost they want you back in a heartbeat? Is something missing? I can't do anything else but blog.....i can't even think at the moment...but i will get back to this.... to be continue... | | |
| Hey all it's me again,
Right now, I can't really say my life has been interesting. I'm listening 'I Belong To Me' by Jessica Simpson, and it makes a good point, and it impacts alot on how teens should probably handle their love lives.
It talks about how you can complete yourself and how you don't need someone to do it for you. I think teen love is highly overrated, and personally I don't understand why it matters if you have the hottest boyfriend. Is it really so important for young people to lose their virginity at such young ages like 13-15? To me that isn't love, it's lust but is commonly looked at as love.
Maybe I'm naive to the world and it's horrors, but think about, wouldn't you rather share that special night on your honeymoon other then in the back of a pick-up? Now, I'm not pin pointing either gender but especially for a female, once the cherry is popped, it's not comming back. As for boys, I don't know if your just horny, but don't push your so called 'love' into something she isn't ready for. And don't pull the 'If you love me' line.
It's possible I'm looking to much into this, I mean, after all when you've been dating your boyfriend/girlfriend for three months, the light bulb in all our heads must ring and sing to us 'It's time for sex cause you know it's what's best!'
I mean it's what has to happen, so many teens get pregnant and yet no one pays any attention to it.
Now this unusual topic just popped into my head, and I thought that maybe someone out there will read this and say to themself, 'Hey I'm young I don't need a man to complete me.' or 'Maybe I should think before I commit, I mean is it possible that he's just using me to fill his needs or am I just his quick fix?'
Whatever you get from this, I just hope you think.
For my mood comes in the words of Hinder : I think you should know this, you deserve much better then me. | | |
| It's been a couple of months since, I have actually wrote something down. How's life going by the way? Lets say it's been a roller coaster. I'l be the BIG 23 in about 2 1/2 weeks. Oh werd! I wonder what my surprise may be this year. Since November of last year, I believe that I have become a whole different person. I have changed alot an sometimes, I just wish i can get myself back into that isolation stage. I feel so much better being coped up and left in the dark where no one can seem to find me. Sometimes it's better that why then being meloncholy | | |
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